Monday, April 02, 2007

Overwhelmed

It's now about 10 after 4 in the morning and I can't seem to sleep. I woke up around 3 or so to Talya crying. She went back to sleep easily. She must of had a bad dream.

My evening then seemed to continue on thinking about all of the things that I would like to do that I haven't got done yet because I just didn't have the time. On the top of the list is that damn hot tub. I can't help but feel like I fucked it up now and may have turned it into a lawn ornament. If it was light outside I would go out there right now and finish it. It hasn't gotten cold enough (I hope) for the pipes to freeze so I guess I am safe there. I think it is more of a fear of algae and hell know what other kinds of species and monsters will grow in the parts where I didn't finish getting all of the water out. I again wish I had a wet vac. I guess turning the thing into a sandbox for the kids is always an option.

Then there is the cat smell from the previous owner that still lurks in the basement. But I can't really battle that until I finish organizing all of the boxes and the rest of the crap that has to be organized downstairs here. At least I did finish getting the shelves set up and now all I have to do is put the cds, dvds and my other crap on them. That will then open the space for the rest of the stuff to be done. Leanne has gotten pretty far on her sewing room. The basement is not done and it is not perfect.. but it is coming along..I guess I can't really get upset about it, I just wish I had more time to get it done. It will be done in time though... but...

Then there is outside the house, in which we still need for the rest of the snow behind the fence part that hasn't melted yet. So the dog shit can finish being cleaned. oh .. that reminds me of something funny that happened yesterday while we were out for breakfast. My sister was telling me a story of things that are going on in her life and I respond with a slight rant of sort saying something to the effect of "Ah fuck .. that is a load of shit" That may not be the exact saying.. but you get the point.. and Harley (my darling 3 year old son) stops me in my tracks by interrupting me and saying "You can't say fuck and shit daddy, Those are bad words. Stop it!" .. I was shocked .. I couldn't respond. He was right. The only thing I could to was to respond with.. "That's right Harley. Daddy was wrong" and I washed my mouth out with some coffee cream that was sitting at the table for punishment. ... kids. Gotta love them.

Now where was I?? .. oh right .. the dog shit again .. well anyway. I never really had a chance to rant on here about how much dog shit there was and I am not going to bother... Dog shit is on thing but on the other hand it wouldn't of been so bad in the back yard if the previous owner at least had enough brains to think. I mean .. if you have two fucking big dogs in the backyard wouldn't you not use your brain to realise that it might not be the right place to keep your bags of garbage? All along the side of the house revealed from the melted snow was scattered garbage. and not just your regular garbage, we are talking broken bottles, used underwear and used condoms (must have accumulated at least 15 of those.. sick fucks).. fake nails, bones, chicken wing and other assorted meat parts and enough cigarette butts to make a homeless bum have an orgasm. We have a lot of it cleaned up .. but man .. it is still an embarrassing mess. When Mike came over the other night .. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking when he walked passed a big stuffed lion (one of those big toys that you win at the exhibition) still half frozen into the snow beside the fence, otherwise it would have been gone with the rest of the crap.

Then there is the car. What can I say about the car .. man .. well .. there is nothing mechanically wrong with the car at the moment.. but I would like to take an atom bomb to the inside of it to clean it. Sometime .. that will get done too.

Those are just a couple of the things that are on my mind right now. There I other things that I have going on in my head thet I would never pose here. like other people do. .. and well no one would find that stuff interesting anyway.. that is like talking about work to people that don't work with.. who would give a shit.. .. if you are not there .. then you wouldn't get it ... so what would be the point. .. plus I have never really been that short for material... maybe I will write up something when I get in for a vasectomy .. man I am sure the comedy would roll in for that one.

I guess all in all though. Everything is still pretty good. Actually it is pretty great. I have the best family one could ever hope for and I have friends that I can always count on. I am in a way better house then I was before. The area kicks ass. We have walked through the park a few times now. Last Saturday.. Harley drove his tractor while I pushed Talya in the stroller around the lake. He had a blast. There was a couple of times he needed help getting up hill and it was too hard for him to pedal so I would be behind him with the stroller giving him a "boost" which annoyed him at the same time .. because Talya would then start laughing and hitting him on the back.. but it made Harley pedal to get away.. When Talya is "Strapped down" it is pretty good .. but man .. she goes .. she is now in the stage where all she wants to do is explore. While we were in the park.. I took her out of the stroller thinking that she would follow her brother. Nope... she starting running the exact opposite way into the field.. or towards some boys playing basketball. I think she was wanting to play with them. She has a fascination for balls at the moment. .. hell it seems that anything that moves she will start running to. She was trying to chase down a plastic bag that was blowing in the wind as well .. she got upset because she couldn't keep up to it. But with the way she is right now .. you look at her wrong way and she would get upset.. she is definitely more emotional than Harley was. I wouldn't of thought that was possible if you told me that when I only had Harley .. but it was.. I don't know if it is a girl thing.. or what.. But I love both of my kids .. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I would do anything for them. I just want the best for them like any father would. Its just sometimes I don't feel like I can do enough for them. I just hope that they think they have a decent daddy. If I can get close to the scope of how they think of their mommy. Then I will be doing ok.

Well .. I guess that is enough for me now.. My eyes are starting to get heavy as I notice it is starting to get closer to 5 in the morning.. . and I was just having one of those moments where everything has gotten to me. A friend of mine gave me a copy of "The Secret". I still have yet to watch it, haven't had a chance to.. but I think I am going to make it a goal for this next week. But .. they finally started playing new episodes of Degrassi.. and hey .. love my Degrassi.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your kids will love you unconditionally for many many years
wait til you are in your 40's and then look back and try not to second guess because it all happens for a reason.

I saw a shop vac at canadian tire for about $45.00 on sale?

hmm shop vac ..... breakfast out ?

breakfast out...shop vac??????

John Bidochka said...

The friend of Gil's that gave him the copy of "The Secret" is none other than John Bidochka. I just had to say that because I know I am not just a "friend" whose name is not worth mentioning. And also because I know that when Gil posted that blog, he had likely been awake for 40 hours straight. Once Gil watches The Secret, you will get his scoop on it and there will be more to say.

John Bidochka

Gilly said...

yes.. I am sorry to not give you credit John.. I did not mean to offend.. you are right .. it was early in the morning .. and we have not yet watched it .. hopefully maybe we can do it this evening after leanne gets the kids settled down .. but I guess we will see how it goes.. I have been having a desperate need to watch it..