Friday, August 15, 2003

Fucking Cars Pt. 1

It sure is funny.

I hate cars… I really do. They are nothing but money pits.. but we (at least me) are brought up to rely on the fucking things, so here we are putting money into these things. I am just a little bitter because no matter how much money I spend on fixing the one that I have right now .. I still can’t trust it. It stalls in the hot weather if it has been idling to long.. or if you run it .. stop it .. then you can’t start it. It has been a real bitch this past week since it has been in the 30’s and it is humid as a bitch .. not nice to my car at all.

I am currently having my alternator replaced in it .. I am only replacing it with a used one .. because the less money I put into this thing the better. It has caused me nothing but grief. Even when I don’t use it.

For example .. a couple of weeks ago, Leanne, Harley and I went to the annual Beer at the Beach at crooked lake. We do this every year. Well this year since we were having so much trouble with our ’87 Chrysler lebaron GTS (the one I am having the alternator replaced in) we decided to take my ’87 ford tempo to the lake. Pack it all up .. and off we go .. about 40 min or so (maybe less maybe more) out of Regina.. just by Qu’Pelle (how ever that is spelt) there car started to chug and the smell of antifreeze was in the air (I can’t tell you how familiar I am with that smell) Pull the car over to the side .. lift the hood .. the engine was hotter than a bitch and antifreeze was BOILING in my reserve. So .. it looked to me that the water pump went, but I wasn’t sure… cause what the hell do I know? ? I’m not a fucking mechanic.. so .. of course I am flustered wondering what the hell to do now .. and my wife, god bless her .. got out of the car .. and flagged down a car. It was pretty hot and our son was sweatin’ buckets, hence Leanne’s strong determined, no one is fucking with my son, mother strong attitude. Got the first car the passed .. I think her standing almost in the middle of the road helped the situation. A couple with a kid, pulled over and let us use there cell phone. Contacted the guys at the lake and helped us get in contact with my mother. I didn’t have a CAA card .. or a VISA with fuck all .. so I was pretty much fucked… Good ol mother .. looking after her kids. So the 3 of us .. hung out and waited.

It didn’t seem like that much longer when my mother came up and met us on the highway. It freaked me out at first because I just thought it was a crazy ass driver that was going to ram into us. Nope.. it was my mother.. Completely freaked out.. And ready to have a heart attack. Doing 140 the whole way there. So we looked at the car, started it, .. didn’t run too bad .. so we thought we would take our chances and drive it back home. Mom followed us home driving mostly 60 the whole way. When we got back into regina, I was surprised that the car made it there with the way it was jolting and thrusting us back and forth .. like “the little train that could”…

So .. here we are in Regina again 4 hours later, with the impression thinking that we were not going to make BATB this year. We then decided to get a rental car.. After calling 5 rental companies, we finally found one that had 1 mid size car available. Since it was the Beginning of August long weekend.. I was amazed that we actually found one. Later that night .. we go to the airport to pick up the rental car. Get to the desk and say “Hello, we are here to pick up a rental.”
“Name?”
“Beck”
She looks at the keys behind her, at the same time I am looking at all the pouches that contain the keys and realize that the name Beck is not written on any of them.
“Sorry, we don’t have a car here for you…”
“Yes, you do”
“No ..sorry. Did you reserve it?”
“Yes we called your 800 number”
“.. so you didn’t call me locally?”
“No .. I didn’t know that there was a local number to call. They told me that you would have a mid-size available. I confirmed it with them and made sure because I called 4 other companies before you”
“Well.. we don’t have any cars.. we are sold out”
“Well that is not my problem.”
While I am saying this and getting more steamed .. she is looking on her computer and sees that my name it there. “ Oh .. you did reserve a car.” And continues to go into this explanation of how the manager is supposed to call the main office when they are out of cars.. yada yada.. I truthfully didn’t give a fuck about the story of who did what or who fucked up .. I just wanted a car.
“Well, what I can do is give you a vehicle that was reserved for a person who was supposed to pick it up earlier today at 2 in the afternoon, but never came. But it is not what you originally wanted.”
“That is alright, what is it” At this point, I am ready to drive the Oscar Meyer weiner vehicle .. I didn’t care
“It is a PT Cruiser, Is that alright?”
“Umm..”, nearly crapping my pants, “I think I can handle that,”
“And we will charge you the same price as the midsize”
“Fine.”

So I leave the airport with the PT Cruiser, with all windows and sunroof open blasting German beer drinking music at full volume. Man people were looking weird at me .. It was like I was driving my puppy car again.

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